I’ve been a bit despressed as of late also.  Today I know why I feel this way…I was supposed to go out to Sunday brunch with my wonderful hubby but wasn’t able to because of how I’m feeling and I’ve been up since 3am in pain.  I’m also not very happy with my current work situation (working part-time retail).  I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do this job again for long…I got burned out on it many years ago.  I’ve been sending out my resume to many prospective companies.  Hopefully it won’t take long for me to get another position.

I’ve also been a bit depressed because I REALLY want my own home.  It’s a long story…but the house that we currently reside in was given to me by my grandpa about 10 years ago as part of his estate…but due to the way the estate is setup…it is in my mother’s name and then once she passes on it will be changed into my name.  So technically it belongs to my mother as of now.  I’m sick of being in the same house with her after all of these years.  I NEED my own place and space and …well, you get the point.  It’s just very difficult when you have a family of six to not have your own home.

Anyway, enough bitching.  I guess I really don’t have too much to complain about considering all that I’ve accomplished in the past 8 months.  I mean, I’ve gone from a size 26 to a size 14…and have lost 120 lbs.  I’m now smaller than my husband, which I never thought would happen.

 Life has definitely different since my wls…but in a positive way for the most part.  I’m able to do a LOT more that what I was prior to surgery (physically) and I’m much more confident now as well.  I have had some physical aspects that haven’t been so wonderful such as hanging skin and an infection…but I’m coping w/ those.  In the larger spectrum, these are minor details in comparison.

I accomplished one of my goals last month and that was taking my kids to Six Flags and riding all of the rides w/ them.  It was a wonderful experience and I can’t wait to do it again this next season!

We’re going to Georgia this coming month for Christmas…so I sure hope I reach my next goal of being able to sit in a plane seat comfortably…now when I say comfortably, I’m speaking from an obese persons point of view…not a normal person’s idea of comfortable because I know that these seats aren’t exactly “comfortable” to anyone to begin with.  However, I’m short (only 5’4″…so I don’t have the normal “knees hitting the back of the seat in front” of me issue, but I have had the problem w/ fitting into a seat issue.  I’m a bit nervous about it all…but have been told by many people that I won’t have that problem and that I should calm down…but I’m still nervous about it.

I’m also hoping to reach my other goal of losing 100lbs by the end of December…but I’m not sure if that will happen or not.  My weight loss has slowed a little bit in recent weeks…so I’m going to have to get back to the basics and get it going again.

I watched several shows this morning about the events of that day and tragedy that ensued.  It’s still heartbreaking to see family members reflect upon the memories of the loved ones lost on that day.  So many heroes gave their lives to try to save others…so many heroes.

No…those that were lost will never be forgotten in this country…not by those of us who lived to see it unfold before our very eyes.

 That’s a bit scary…actually that’s very scary.  I felt just awful after finding this out and I wished I’d known sooner…not that I could’ve done much about it…but, I’d still liked to have known.

Anyway, I went in for my check-up last Thursday and am down 34 lbs.  I haven’t lost much in the past couple of weeks but the dr said it’s because I’ve been doing more resistance training and am building muscle.  I have lost inches though and that’s very noticeable. He said that he suspects that I will have lost a lot more weight by my 3 month check-up.  I hope so…with not losing much in the past couple of weeks or so…well, it’s a bit disheartening.  My mind hasn’t completely caught up with all of this and sometimes it’s difficult to believe that this is really happening.

I’m not really having any problems with eating or the foods that I’m supposed to eat.  I’ve always been big on eating lean meats and veggies…so not much has changed there.  Heck, my idea of “cheating” is having a black olive stuffed with feta cheese!  Not exactly a major cheat is it?  Anyway, I’ve cut back a bit of my carbs…not that I was eating much to begin with, but I think that it has been taking away from how much protein I’ve been able to take.  If I’m not getting enough protein…well, that will slow down my weight loss and that would be deafeating the purpose.

I’m working out almost every day now.  I do 30 minutes of cardio a day and then resistance training 3 days a week.  On days that I do resistance training I work out for about an hour or so.  I have to work my abs because of core strength and all…so I do crunches and then lift free weights to strengthen my arms.  I do have some sagging skin…but not horrible as of yet.  Basically it’s at a point that you can tell that the fat is separating from the muscle.

The first week after surgery was very difficult because of the clear liquid diet and protein shakes.  All I have to say is that Isopure is NOT a great tasting protein drink…but it gets the job done.  I wasn’t able to have any broth or Jell-O because my senses of sweet and salty are incredibly hightened right now along w/ my sense of smell. 

By 7days out I was able to eat cottage cheese, yogurt, sugar-free pudding and drink milk based protein shakes…I was feeling MUCH better.  However, I developed a senoma (fluid around an incision) on my left side.  It’s swollen still and is painful from time to time…but I’m dealing w/ it. 

I went to my first nutrition class and post-op appt. last Wed.  They took out my drain and confirmed the senoma on my left side.  I was told that it would take about 2-3 months to go away. That sucks.  BUT, the good news is that I’ve lost a total of 21lbs by my 9th day out from surgery (including the 8lbs I lost on the clear liquid diet right before surgery).  I think that is purely amazing!

I’m now on the end of my 14th day out from surgery.  I’ve had to advance to incorporating some meat back into my diet because I’ve become intolerant to the items I’d mentioned above as part of “stage 2″.  Not a big deal I don’t think, but I’ve got to get in a minimum of 40g of protein a day (ideal 65g/day) and can’t do it if I’m unable to eat any food OR if I’m sick to my stomach all of the time.  I’m trying to avoid vomitting at all costs…so if I feel quesy after taking a bite of a certain food…I don’t eat any more and try something else.

I’m riding my recumbant bike for 30 min/day and have been more active with each passing day.  Things are going well so far and I’m going to just keep doing what I’m doing unless told otherwise by my physician…but I don’t think that will happen.

I’m a little curious as to where my weight stands right now…but I’m not going to attempt to weigh myself…I’ll save that for the doctor’s visits.  Besides…I go in tomorrow to my PCP and he’ll weigh me for sure…so I’ll know then.

I was quite surprised as to how smoothly everything went.  After everything that I’ve been through in getting to this point, it’s a blessing to have things go the way that it should for a change.

I even ran into a couple of people that I knew from support group at Dr. Snyder’s office.   It was good to see them!  I also met a lovely lady who has her surgery the same day as mine but right after mine.   She and I hit it off!  She even joked w/ Dr. Snyder telling that we want to room together.

Today I started my clear liquid diet…yuck!  I wouldn’t mind SO much…but I’m HUNGRY.   I don’t mind drinking so many fluids…and I know this is part of the pre-op prep…but man, I’m tired of hearing (and feeling) my tummy growling.

Oh well…one more day of this and it will be over.  I’ll still be on clear liquids for another day…but I won’t be hungry!

I go in on Monday (7/17) @ 1:30pm.  I go in tomorrow for my pre-op appointments and labwork.

Now I have to begin all of the preparations!  Wow…this is really going to happen!

IF (and that’s a BIG if) they can verify my coverage on 7/12 (which I was informed by my old employer that this is the date that that my coverage “should be” reinstated) then I will be able to have my surgery as previously scheduled which would be great!  However, it would also mean that I would have to start my “clear liquid diet” on 7/13.  There’s a LOT that must be done in order for me to have this surgery by next Monday…I’m not mentally prepared for it right now because every time I’ve been close to proceding, something goes wrong and it’s delayed again.  So if this indeed does happen…well, I hope that I am able to prepare myself in the time that is remaining before surgery.

My friend Vanessa is having her surgery tomorrow and I’m SO excited for her! She’s nervous right now and has every right to be.  I told her that she should call me if she wants to talk at ALL tonight or tomorrow morning before checking into the hospital.  I also reassured her that I will be there tomorrow after she gets out of surgery.  She and I have become quite close and we’ve made many steps toward this journey together, so I’m not going to let her go through any of this without me…and I know she will do the same for me.

This whole waiting thing sucks bigtime!